Feeling sad recently because uni has officially started for me. Actually, it has already started for a month or so now and I haven't really had the time to talk about it because school work has been rather overwhelming. It is also not easy juggling my time between school and part-time job and of course having a life at the same time. But that's also the main reason why I am feeling sad - having no fucking life coz really, nobody has time for me anymore. Oh my god I feel so pathetic typing this?
Entering uni makes me feel like I've officially jumped on the adult life bandwagon where people are really not the same anymore. People who've been around you for quite some time now, people you just met or even people you're soon going to meet. It's really tough job getting to know new people, having to repeat your entire life story again to someone entirely new to your life when you don't even know if this particular someone is going to stay in your life.
And yes, the thing about being adults is, we all change and we all grow. We grow up to be the sickening adults we thought we would never become. As cruel as reality sounds, it is true and real to a point. People around me have changed, their priorities and their friendships. People meet new people and people move on, you know? People's lives no longer revolve around you. People whom you used to see every day, you don't even get to see them now, not even once a week, heck, maybe not even once a month. Coz everyone's so fucking caught up with work and shit and basically just...life.
And this is what makes me sad. Because that was once a point in our lives when we thought we were gonna be happy with who is around us forever. But reality has to kick in and slap your face with the fact that no your friends aren't gonna be around forever and it is safer to tell yourself you should learn to be independent. Well, that's how I am and have been as a person my entire life - alone. And as sad as it sounds, I probably like that I am alone. But there will be times, times like these when I tell myself it'd be good to have a friend around too, somewhere.
As adults now we just gotta suck it up coz no one's gonna come wipe your tears for you or pat you to sleep at night when you can't. You are an adult now and you ought to have the ability to fend for yourself ya? You should deal with your own fucking problems coz everyone else has theirs.
This entry is totally going in a self-destroying route and this is bad. I am supposed to be doing my essay what am I doing here okay bye. Evidently, adults don't conclude their entries coz adults..have life to deal with.
