People always say as you grow older, time passes faster. 2013 went by particularly fast, so fast so that my brain isn't quick enough to follow through everything that happened. Nevertheless, I'm going to try my best to recall all the things that happened so I have a proper entry this time round.
2013 was a year of changes and adaptation; it was a year of learning to stand up after falling and a year of acceptance. Growing up is real tough work. Being at the age of 18 made me neither a child nor an adult. You can no longer use the excuse of "I'm still young" to make certain mistakes. You cannot pretend that certain responsibilities or duties aren't there just because you are unwilling to face them. You cannot deny the fact that there are now many more problems you'd have to face.
Being in year 2 of poly made me face the choice of post-poly life. To continue studying or venture out into the society. As much as I'd like to push these decisions to the back of my mind and tell myself "I still have time to think", they never fail to haunt me as I proceed on with life. It's tough work trying to work out a path for yourself, be it to meet your own expectations or your parents'. It's tough work to even try to convince yourself that everything will fall into place naturally when the time is right. But through all these problems, you can only continue growing. And of course, I'm still learning to deal with all these. All of us are.
I truly have never liked the idea of entering into poly. It never really did bring me any additional happiness nor did I really find people whom I feel will walk my life with me. However, being educated in Singapore left me with no other choices. So it was really just another miserable academic year for me. One of the greatest changes would be switching project groups and learning to work with new people. It is definitely going to be a whole new experience and I'm glad to say everything has been going well thus far and am hoping the new school term would be a good one with them.
Having a part time job also made me feel more like an adult. Earning my own money, paying for my own expenses and having the ability to treat my family to a nice dinner gave me contentment. Since young, I've always dreamed of the day when I bring my parents to a good restaurant to dine and have them let me take the bill. I'm so glad to fulfill this wish of mine only at the age of 18. Even though I know how much they want me to just keep the money for myself, I know I still want to do this with my money forever.
Losing another two family members in the year was definitely another obstacle we had to face. Never have I once see my dad cry so bad in front of so many people. Never have I feel so strong how life is so much more fragile than all of us think it is. We all think we have a lot of time, but the real irony is also how little time we have left. Perhaps human beings only learn through pain and agony, my family has learnt to treasure each other even more now. Cousins putting in effort and taking time out of their very busy lifestyles and every one else being cooperative resulted in us having our very own Christmas party in the history of Toh family. The night was filled with much love, fun, laughter and tears. 2013 definitely taught me to love harder and never, ever, ever take your family or friends for granted. Please love them while you still can.
Am ever grateful to friends who stayed true to me and themselves throughout the year. I will forever be thankful to friends who have always love me for who I am, who take time out to hear me rant (even though I mostly keep problems to myself), who take time out to meet me (when I once in a blue moon get bored of staying home), who bought gifts for me on special occasions or even wrote a letter/card. All these I appreciate and will never forget. People say "depend on your parents at home and depend on your friends outside", I will always remember the people who let me depend on and never will I be shameful to depend on you guys. Thank you for making my 2013 a little better each time it goes haywire. I'm sure you people know who you are :)
Little things I went through during the year would be removing my braces (which I am super happy to and am mad loving my new set of teeth), going to 3 different concerts which I'm glad to have gone (amei, mayday and JJ Lin!), attending a few school events (DTRM grad night 2013, DTRM retreat 2013, DTRM year 2 JB trip), some birthday celebrations and family outings (at the jurong bird park, river safari, a first getaway to JB as well as the Xmas party!).
2013 was definitely not one of the best years I've went through, in fact, it may even be ranked as one of the worst. But life is full of ups and downs and only with setbacks will we understand success and only with tears will we appreciate smiles. I am grateful to have survived another year with good health and people.
In the new year, I resolute to spend more time with my family and friends and lead a healthier lifestyle. No more unrealistic resolutions which I will never ever keep up to. May 2014 be a better year and may my family, friends and I be blessed with good health. Just wanna say I'm glad to be alive and kickin'. Toast to yet another brand new start. Cheers!
