A new journey at work

Today is 14th December, 5 days more and it’d be my 5th month at my first full time job! Time really passes by so quickly when one is working. Everyday, I just go to work and go home, sleep and the routine repeats. And whenever the week starts, I look forward to the end of the week and the weekends. I guess it is this constant forward looking mentality that made time pass by unknowingly. 

The past couple of weeks at work have been pretty dramatic for me but in a good way. I will be moving from my original jobscope of Customer Service to Pricing Control and this is a very huge step that I have to take because 1) my math is horrible 2) it involves analytical skills which I’m not confident of at all 3) problem solving skills 4) a business mindset. Even though I’ve been a business student the past 5 years, I’m not a business person at all. I’m better at languages than figures and the new job scope requires me to spend a lot of time with numbers and excel sheets. My supervisor managed to convince me to take up this role because he feels I should challenge myself while I’m still young and the skills mentioned above are definitely beneficial to my future (which I have to agree with 100%).

I’ve been learning the job scopes of Pricing Control from my colleague who’s going to leave the company soon, which is why I have this opportunity as well. It has been a little overwhelming.. having to learn simple things like “how to see the profit we are getting each day” and “how to find out the reasons behind the figures”. 

I know this is something that’s not my forte and I will have to put in 200% of effort if I wanna excel in it. Definitely unlike CS which I can do well in without putting much effort or feeling stressful over. However, it is always the great things that require the most amount of effort so I want to give it a shot. 

I really want to do well this time and not let the people who have high expectations in me down (especially my supervisor). Praying to GYM that this will be a fruitful journey and hopefully... not as tough as I would think of it to be... 

My first full-time job

3.52PM at work.

Currently a customer service officer. If you asked me when I was 5, or 10, or 15, or even 20, I would definitely not have imagined myself holding this position as my full-time job. "What? Serving customers 5 days a week? Listening to their complaints and letting them vent their stupid anger on me? Trying to appease people is my job scope? No way." would probably be my response.

I don't even know how this position found its way to me. And I agreed on it almost immediately. I still remember going for the interview. It was a Friday afternoon, probably around 3pm. I was at home, watching Youtube videos, doing ~nothing~. I then received an e-mail asking if I was available for an interview that very same day at 6pm. It took a while for me to register what I was reading and I replied "sure". So off I went to shower and prepare to head out.

I went through 3 interviews - HR person, team supervisor and lastly, CEO. I basically prepared nothing to anticipate the interviews and I answered all the questions based on last minute instincts / whatever that could come to mind. By the time the interviews ended, it was already 7 plus pm. As I boarded the train towards Dhoby Ghaut, my phone rang and the caller ID showed the company's number (I could recognise because it was my intern company).

"We would like to offer you the position. Could you come back to sign the contract now?" was what came through over the phone. I didn't even have time to think and I agreed. The next minute I knew, I was in the office again signing the contract and employment letter. And I would begin work the next week (luckily not the next working day because I was going on a short vacation to Batam).

Fast forward 2.5 months later, here I am enjoying my work almost every day. I have really great and adorable colleagues who are so welcoming, accepting and offered kind guidance to me throughout. I am really grateful to be where I am now, because even though it may be a job that many of my peers may think lowly of / not consider a proper job for a fresh graduate, I find myself learning a lot of things and liking what I do.

Of course, there have been days when I roll my eyes while talking on the phone with *ahem* customers, days when I can't handle their *ahem* requests and have to seek help from my supervisor, I am lucky that there are also days when people thank me for my help, wish me a nice day or say a simple "麻烦你了 or 辛苦你了". These are the little little perks of my job. A job that I'd say is humane, emotional and interactive. And I seek joy in helping and serving people ultimately.

Thank you GYM for leading me to where I am now :-)

Mid-2017

Today is 13 July. We are now 13 days into the second half of 2017 already. God knows what I have achieved thus far, definitely nothing that I am proud enough to list down here. 2017... has been crazily unfortunate for me. It seems as though nothing I want/hope for is happening to me. Everything just seemed to go haywire at the point when I thought nothing will go wrong. And it's driving me crazy so far.

2017, is the year I graduate. It is the year when adulting truly happens. The year when I have to venture out into the real world and land myself a full-time job where I can earn some bucks and pay off my study debts. Everything I once imagined to be perfect - a kickass job I manage to handle so perfectly, a pair of heels I can walk in confidence in, a nice bag that makes me feel I am no longer a child, a teenager, a student, I am now, a woman, a partner I can hold hands with after work, catch the movies with over the weekends, cry and rant with when I meet obstacles at work. But no, everything that has happened in reality seemed to be the opposite of whatever I have imagined.

Stepping into 2017, I was happy and blissful. It was a new chapter in life and I was in love. My academics seemed to be doing alright too. I had a part-time job that I was able to sustain my life with. I made more friends through co-curricular activities and I realised I wasn't as closed up as I used to be. That I was more energetic, warmer and spread more positive vibes around. Everyday I was beaming with so much happiness I couldn't sleep!

And then school ended. My final examination ended. Lectures ended. I started a contract job with my previous intern company. Life was starting to become mundane. But all was good until April came. The month when I felt the darkest, the gloomiest, the month when I felt my heart break for the first time ever. All the previous times I thought I was sad added up, weren't enough to validate this kind of heartbreak. It was a slow process, a lead-up to the final episode. I directed the ending, a decision that was tough as fuck to make. But I had to do it.

To be honest, it has been 3 whole months since then. I haven't fully recovered. And many times I ask myself if I ever will. I know I will, I hope I will, the question is just... when? When can I truly walk out of this misery? When can I truly let myself go? I don't know.

When one bad thing happens, many others seem to follow. I went for countless interviews. Some which left me feeling so humiliated and insulted, as if I was the stupidest person in this world. Perhaps my life has been so smooth-sailing that I cannot accept something that I want so badly to not happen to me. Slowly, I adapted and I accepted. That things won't always happen the way you want it to. Through countless days and nights of crying, be it in public or in my own room, I know I can become a tougher person and I should.

2017 is the year I am constantly in search of what I truly want in life and what I truly love. Many times have failed me and many things have broke me, but it won't bring me down. And each time, I will only emerge stronger and tougher than before. It is an emotional entry, because it has been an emotional year. I am not okay and I haven't been okay for a long time. But I will continue to seek hope in every new day that comes.