Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Two-way

I always read that if you love someone or if you really cared about someone, you'd talk to them all the time, and you'd want to talk to them all the time. You'd talk about everything and anything in the world. Every little detail. Even if this particular thing may not even be of any concern to that someone, but because you love him/her, you wanna tell them, because it made an impact in your life, because this little thing happened to you.

But I was also wondering. If we really loved someone, would we give up the chance of telling them about our life and listen out to theirs instead? Because I have realised this is what I do most of the time. I listen to people I love. And I wanna listen, I wanna know. I'm not just hearing them, I'm listening, listening to the details, to how they talk about it, just so I truly feel how they felt at that point in time.

And if someone spends time talking to you about his/her life then it clearly shows this person cares about you too, right? If not, why would h/she bother?

Anyway, so just after writing this entry I've come to a conclusion that this thing, this talking and listening thing that I've just mentioned, is a two-way thing. Both parties share and both parties listen. There should be no domineering. There should be a balance between the two. When one speaks, the other listens, truthfully, sincerely, with all attention. When one finishes, the other starts. No interruption, just smooth and ongoing conversation.

That is, I supposed, the highest level anyone can reach in a relationship?

P/S It's been such a long long time since I was this serious in writing something. And I am glad. I like this entry. What about you?
"Okay, would be our always"

-- The Fault in Our Stars, John Green

Monday, July 29, 2013

十万毫升泪水

song of the month
滿意了嗎 你究竟有完沒完
你煩不煩 總考驗我多勇敢
有那麼難 那麼幸福和美滿
我不貪婪 只求多些夜晚 不鼻酸 不孤單
我想要的快樂很簡單 你都不管

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Dislike

I dislike people who are childish.
I dislike people who are not serious all the time.
I dislike people who are fake and pretentious.
I dislike people who contradict themselves.
I dislike people who don't reflect upon their own actions.
I dislike people who don't give other people a chance to explain themselves.
I dislike people who don't have their own thinking and just follow everyone else.
I dislike people who don't have ambitions or don't pin any hopes on themselves.
I dislike people who just 得过且过 (muddle along cr: google translate) everyday and don't know where they'll be heading to in the future.
I dislike people who are not humble.
I dislike people who are over-confident when in fact, they aren't that great in the first place.
I dislike people who dislike those they cannot agree with.
I dislike people who always think they are always right.
I dislike people who base people's actions according to their own morals.
I dislike people who get close to people who were originally closer to me.
I dislike people who always want things to go THEIR way.
I dislike people who cannot shut up for even a minute.
I dislike people who joke about EVERYTHING. There are some things that cannot be joked about.
I dislike people who are not filial.
I dislike people who don't respect other people.
I dislike people who only want the best for themselves.
I dislike people who are selfish.
I dislike people who act like they are very noble.
I dislike people who dislike those that get whatever limelight h/she doesn't get.
I dislike people who talk about other people behind their backs.
I dislike people who cannot face criticisms.
I dislike people who lead other people into thinking that this particular person is bad and then changes his/her own opinion afterwards.

Basically, I have this list that will never end - people whom I dislike.

I sure dislike a lot of people.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Nervous

I don't know why I'm feeling extremely nervous and stressed up for my FBM presentation tomorrow. usually I'm really zen and relaxed up till the point of presentation or sometimes I am just totally not nervous AT ALL. I think it's because the teacher is a lot more strict and has really high expectations and I'm just damn worried for my grades and all.

I've just finished memorising my script and I really hope everything will turn out to be fine tomorrow, PLEASE. fingers crossed!!!

by the way, FBM is food and beverage management... BLUEK

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

-

all day. everyday.
tumblr has this magical ability to read my mind and speak my thoughts for me.
thankful for tumblr.

Phase

now. everyday. I just wake up and go to school and come home and sleep. I try to get myself past each lingering day in hope that everything would just miraculously become better soon. I tell myself being upset is only temporary but it seems like forever. it seems like happiness is never coming back again. I force myself to be happy. but why is it so hard?

I try to talk to people who wanna talk to me, only to find myself drifting out of every conversation. I find my mind wandering off to saddening thoughts. I tell myself to stop wallowing in self pity but I just can't help it. I focus so much on the bad things that are happening I feel like nothing good ever happens to me anymore.

I don't know how and why and when all these started to happen. how did I become so locked out from the world? why did I become so upset every single day? when did I no longer find myself laughing or smiling for the true purposes in life.

I tell myself this is just a phase. and everything would be over soon, if not someday in the future. I'm really hoping this day is gonna arrive soon. because I am afraid I cannot take this any longer. because nowadays I don't have motivation to do anything. nothing has the ability to interest me anymore.

everyday, I just wanna lay in bed.

someday, I hope I find my happiness again.

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Maybe I'm...

Sometimes I think to myself: maybe I aren't that kind after all, maybe the negative side of me overpowers the positive side almost all the time, maybe I weren't even deserving of having people who loves me.

I know what kind of person I am. I am not a good person. I'm really harsh with my words at times. And people often tell me I'm really fierce - even though I don't realise this myself. I probably don't think before I talk and have offended countless people, and it's just that they never told me, so I never knew. 

I know I'm judgmental. And no matter how much I know it is not good to judge, I still do it. I judge based on appearances. I judge based on how people do things. I judge the words people use and the actions they take. Because as long as I cannot agree, I think you're wrong. And I know that is really bad.

I'm easily jealous most of the times. I get jealous when people compliment my friends but not me. I get jealous when my friends have a better grade. I get jealous if the person I like treats my friend better than me. I get jealous when I don't get as much attention as everyone else. And deep inside I know the difference between envy and jealousy. I'm evil, because I get jealous, not envious.

I'm lazy. I take credits for things I may never have done. I do the things I like. I choose to talk only when I want to. I don't pretend to like you if I really don't. I don't think of what to say if there really is nothing to say. This is how lazy I am. I take people's empathy for me as a chance to skip doing certain things. This is how bad I am.

I'm selfish. I don't like to share my things. And more importantly my people. I want the best for myself. It's okay if other people gets mediocre treatment, if I get the best I keep mum. If people got better than me I rant. I'm always wishing for more, probably a lot more than what I deserve.

But if you never knew these facts about me I guess I'm pretty good at being fake. I'm fake. I'm judgmental. I'm lazy. I'm selfish. I'm evil. I'm annoying. But who else isn't?

Maybe one day someone will come along and love me. Me as a whole. Or someone will come along and change me into a better person. Well, I truly hope so.

Sunday, July 14, 2013

'Happy Birthday'

Wishing Happy Birthday isn't just about wishing. It's also about sincerity. It's about how much you really want to wish that particular someone. And it doesn't matter if you're wishing through a social platform, a text, an image, or even a phone call. What matters is the content.

And don't always think human beings are fools. Because if you know you aren't, everyone else isn't. What your content truly wants to show can be easily seen through - whether it's truthful or not, whether it's from the bottom of your heart or not, whether it's a genuine wish or a plain "I know it's your birthday so happy birthday".

One day when you look back at all the wishes you will realise who truly made the effort to wish you and who didn't. I believe in finding the right words to wish someone. You can always just type or say "happy birthday". Easy enough. And what the person receives at the other end will just be "happy birthday". And they give you a response - "thank you". If not, what else?

But if you find the right words. You think about how to wish this particular person. How much interaction you have gone through with him or her. It gives you more things to say. A simple sentence like "you have been such a joyful person" or "I love your friendliness every time you say hi to me as we cross each other's paths in school" can mean a lot to the birthday girl/boy.

If you're having your birthday today, you know it's YOUR day. You wanna feel like all the attention's on you. But always remember, it's not just YOUR day. It is, on a high chance, someone else's day too. Every one has different perspectives. But it is up to you to change that perspective. Give more, so you'd find yourself receiving more at the end of the day too.

Happy Birthday isn't just 2 words. You need to add meaning to it. If not, it's just happy and birthday.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

DAY 26

Write a letter to Mayday

哈咯五月天。认识你们是我从小到大的事,但真正了解你们,却是我近期才做到的。我用心聆听每一首你们的歌曲,去体会和感受你们想要传达的讯息。每一首歌显然暗藏着不同的事情让我们去发现。每一个世界的小优点,都等着我们一步一步地从你们歌曲中发掘。我相信,这些歌曲足够我听一辈子,因为每一次听都会感受到不一样的东西。

谢谢你们找到了五月天,谢谢你们让五月天诞生,谢谢你们那么执著于自己想要做的事情,因此从来都没有放弃过摇滚的梦想,因为这样,我今天才能体会到许多我一辈子都可能体会不到的事情。

谢谢你们写的每一首歌,让我在夜深人静时不是孤独一人。谢谢你们唱出我的许多心声,让我在很无助觉得没有人了解我的时刻,找到了你们的歌,发现我不是独自一人面对黑暗。谢谢你们勇敢地写出大胆的歌词与旋律,让我大胆地做出不可思议的梦。

谢谢阿信,你温柔的声音带给我无数的安慰。谢谢冠佑,你让我对打鼓有更深一层的喜爱。谢谢怪兽,你挥洒自如地弹着吉他,让我也想放下眼前不想做却非要做的事,去做自己真正想做的事。谢谢石头,你让我了解,外表不是一切,用心去对待一个人,必定能够得到真心的回报。谢谢玛莎,你让我明白,人生最重要的事,莫过于做自己,莫过于得到真正的快乐。

我没有知己,你们就是最了解我的人,五月天。

Friday, July 12, 2013

DAY 25

Favourite picture of Monster (怪獸)


the way he strums his guitar is <3

Thursday, July 11, 2013

DAY 24

Favourite picture of Masa (瑪莎)

So cuteeeeee <3

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

DAY 23

Favourite picture of Stone (石頭)


I like this picture because you could see the joy and enthusiasm in his face and eyes and expression. I really love how he enjoys the music he's making. And I love his current hair A LOT <3

[review // 101211] I miss

This is gonna be so ironic and contradictory. But I miss school so much. Or should I say, I miss 4/8 so much.

I miss how we get to see our friends for 5 days a week. I miss the times when no matter how much we complain or dread waking up early, we still do it anyway. I miss how we walk into the canteen before assembly and you see your friends waiting for you and we start chit-chatting until the lights go off. I miss assemblies, flag-raising ceremonies, OMMs, OMGs, or just sitting in the hall and turning behind to talk to your friend, updating each other on each of our lives.

I miss how we clatter in groups as we walk along the corridors to our classroom, waiting for the chairperson to open the door. I miss how we walk to our respective seats and everyone starts to talk to the person beside you while waiting for the first lesson to start. I miss how happy we get when a relief teacher walks in. I miss how upset we'd get when we had to go to different classrooms for lessons. I miss POA, Math and Social Studies lessons the most, because these 3 subjects are the only classes we attend together as a class. Other than that, we're banded.

I miss my table partners. Elaine, Xiaoqin, Evonne, Crystal and Kelvin. The 6 of us, serious when needed, other than that, we're nothing but fun and enjoyment. I miss how Elaine, Xiaoqin, Evonne and I will always sing mandarin songs together, updating each other on new songs discovered, or just trying to remember lyrics of a particular song, or the title of a song. I miss how we ignore our appearances and just sing as loudly as we want to. I miss how we tease Kelvin and no matter how far we go, he will never ever get angry. I miss us going crazy on certain days, bringing our baby photos and exchanging with one another, making sandwiches and cookies for each other. This is how I spent my most memorable days.

I miss the scene of everyone rummaging through lockers and under-desks to prepare for the next lesson. I miss how everyone just refuses to walk to the next venue immediately when the bell rings, we just like to take our own sweet time. I miss the days when all we look forward to is the sound of the bell indicating the end of our lesson, or the bell for recess, and most importantly the bell for dismissal. I miss how everyone rushes out of the classrooms during recess time, I miss how everyone rushes to the canteen just to avoid long queues and to get a table. I miss how my friends and I sit together, eat, talk, and just hope that this 45 minutes would go by slower than other periods.

I miss POA lessons, how we blabber rubbish to Mr Lim and he follows suit, how we're best at wasting time by diverting his attention to his newborn son Ethan, how we like to use POA lessons for admin stuff so that we don't have to do exam papers, how we all beg for that 1 minute of early dismissal. I miss Social Studies lessons, when all we do is talk to our friends, once in a while doing the SBQ questions when we've got no choice, how we highlight the notes but nothing go inside our heads, how we talk to Mr Zakir like he's our best buddy. I miss Math lessons, how we all get angry with the teacher for moving too fast or blabbering things that sound like alien languages to us, how we talk and talk and talk until Mdm Sarojini approaches our tables.

I miss the noises we make, the silences among us when the days to O levels slowly decreases, the happiness shown on our faces when we manage to win something during competitions, the enthusiasm everyone shows when we prepare for a particular occasion, celebration or competition, as well as the tears and sad faces of everyone on graduation day, the day when we officially are no longer a part of Riverside, a part of 4/8.

As you read through this entry, how much memories can you remember? How many flashbacks went through your mind? How much do you miss school, how much do you miss your friends, how much do you miss the days of laughter and fun, how much do you miss the days when your biggest problem was how to finish studying for an exam? How much do you miss secondary school, and all the memories, legends and histories created by yourself and your friends?

I miss everything, so much.

To be honest, if given a choice, I would never want to grow up, I would never want to leave this phase of my life, I'd really rather continue studying, continue being with my friends, continue being in 4/8, continue being a student, for the rest of my life.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

DAY 22

Favourite picture of Guan You (冠佑)


Monday, July 8, 2013

You know it. You know how tough your life has been when tears well up in your eyes all of a sudden. You know how hard life has been on you when you lie down on bed and fall asleep immediately. You know how lonely you've been when tears well up in your eyes after talking to someone you care deeply about.

And you realise that life isn't just about success or grades, it's more about people and relationships.

I've been so worn out recently. I've been wasting so much time on things that don't really matter and people who don't care about me. Sometimes I may be seeking attention, but all I wanted was to see that someone genuinely cared.

But am glad I found someone who truly cares. My one and only friend.

Sorry I have been neglecting our friendship. Too busy never seemed like a proper excuse. Thank you for not giving up on me or our friendship. Thank you.

DAY 21

Favourite picture of Ashin (阿信)

帶著眼睛的阿信<3
唱歌永遠那麽投入的阿信<3
最好看的側臉<3
看起來對人生無比知足的阿信<3

Random gifs to add BECAUSE HE IS JUST TOO CUTE TOO CUTE TOO CUTE



Sunday, July 7, 2013

DAY 20

Favourite picture of Mayday


Saturday, July 6, 2013

DAY 19

Favourite Mayday member


陈信宏 阿信. 

你的才华,你的善良,你的聪明,你的可爱,你的帅气,你的头脑,你的写作和创作能力,你的文字,你的歌声,你的心总是那么宽宏大量,你说话的样子,你说话的声音,你忧郁的气质但活泼的个性,你倔强坚持自己想做的事,你说过能唱一辈子就会唱下去,你给予喜欢你的人快乐和爱,你总是诗意地说出能让我思考很久的句子,你可以几天不睡觉就只因为一些事情还没做完,你总是不轻易放弃的精神,你对待其他队员的态度,你从不自己强功劳,你的谦虚,你不断地求进步但其实你已经很好,我喜欢你,喜欢你的一切。

Friday, July 5, 2013

DAY 18

Favourite thing about Mayday

Need I say more? My favourite thing about Mayday is Mayday. Everything of Mayday.

Don't hate me because I'm not going to leave this page with this shallow answer.

I like Mayday's humility. How they are obviously Asia's Best Band but has never once address themselves as one, how they are obviously very worthy of every award they have gotten since Mayday was born but has never once got complacent, how they are always searching for their defects and always finding ways to improve no matter how many times they have proved themselves to be good enough.

I like Mayday's friendship. How they give one another a chance to speak every time they receive an award, how even though Ashin is the most popular member but he will never hold all the credits to himself alone, how during concerts Ashin will always share the limelight among his four other members, how even though Monster is the group leader but has never once put great airs on himself, how their many different songs represent their never ending friendship, how they are willing to stop coming out as a group when one of them went to army, how they are so united and makes no distinction between one another, how they perform with so much chemistry.

Above are my 2 favourite things about Mayday; indescribable humility and unbreakable friendship.

Thursday, July 4, 2013

DAY 17

Who would you like to see them collaborate with


My favourite band and my favourite male singer, definitely ♥

Yoga Lin and Mayday

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

DAY 16

Favourite collaboration they’ve done


I don't really know much collaborations they have done with other people so this is the only song I have included in my Mayday playlist, so I guess this should be my favourite. I actually like the female singer too!! Their voices match super well and I really like how the song's so cheerful and sweet-sounding! ☺

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

DAY 15

Favourite song sung LIVE


PLEASE watch it PLEASE

I really don't think that this needs any further elaboration or explanation after you've watched it.

Even though it's not my favourite song, but the live version is really TOO GOOD. There is actually a vast difference between the CD version and the live version. You really have to watch the whole video to understand what I mean. The ending is superb, and I have no words for the climax when the fireworks appeared. 

I especially love his voice from 3:52 to 3:58. You know? That kind of guys' high-pitched voice, you almost thought he was gonna break his voice but no, he maintained it, at that equilibrium point. And for that introductory speech? I can only say that Ashin, you are the love of my life.

Monday, July 1, 2013

DAY 14

Favourite song that was not officially released in above albums


“终于你身影 消失在人海尽头 才发现 笑着哭 最痛”

I didn't even have to think to come up with this answer. Basically because this is my second favourite song of Mayday's. And I have always believed that “知足就是通往幸福道路的第一步”.