The most contradicting thing as a person is you never know how you're truly feeling or what you truly want. Sure you see someone attractive and you're attracted. You start conversing and you find that hey he's not too bad. But you know that this thing is not gonna go anywhere. And when people start to ask Are you really going for it? Do you like him? And that's when you start to question yourself. How is it that I'm truly feeling? I don't know. I enjoy your accompaniment and I enjoy talking to you. I get disappointed when you're not talking to me and I miss you when you're not around. Things like these make me sad and make me wonder if I have truly fallen. But still I am unsure. I don't want to guarantee anything and I don't want to make a statement because I may not feel like this anymore 10 days later. But then again, what if I still do 10 years later? Some things just cannot be foreseen.
I am sorry I am starting to miss your presence. I am sorry I want your attention now. I am sorry I crave talking to you and hearing your voice and seeing you and standing next to you. I am sorry all these are happening so quickly I don't know how to react or how to assure my own feelings. I am sorry that falling in love is all about a moment's thing and not a lifetime of development. I am sorry that I am only starting to love you now when you've just left...for good.
I am sorry that sometimes even if you love him, you cannot be with him. I am sorry that loving someone and being with them are two whole different concepts difficult to achieve. I am sorry.
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