Optimism

Last night I woke up at 4:50 AM approximately. I don't know why I woke up suddenly, but I just did. And I once read something online which said "if you wake up without any reason in the middle of the night it means someone is staring at you." and I got freaked out. But it was my home so why should I be afraid?

Many random thoughts started to run through my head while I tried to go back to sleep, but couldn't. My thoughts were rolling like a fast-forwarded movie. I thought about life, my life. I thought about 2013. I thought about my academics, my friendships, my life.

And I came to a conclusion that 2013 is a bad year. I welcomed the year with a fresh and cheerful mindset but for once I thought, optimism isn't going to work as you expect it to. Now as I look back on it, 2012 was so much more rewarding and enjoyable. 2013 decided to take me on a roller coaster ride. A bad one.

I almost got up from bed to write a blog entry but I chased the thought away. I don't want to be an emotional freak anymore. And I know it has been a really long time since I last got upset. I owned several blogs before this and all of them got really yucky and emotional until a point when even I couldn't stand myself anymore. So I removed them.

I don't want this blog to be the same. I want my blog to be filled with memories that are going to be worth reminiscing about and not memories that are going to make myself pity myself even more in the future. True enough, life is about ups and downs. But sometimes I feel like my life has so much downs and almost no ups and how is that even possible?

So this morning when I woke up I told myself I shouldn't be such a worry-freak anymore. Happiness IS a choice and I gotta make that choice. Not only for myself but more importantly for the people who love me. I know I'm a hard person, I'm hard on myself and I'm hard on people around me. But these people never leave. And for sure those who left are people I shouldn't bother chasing after.

It's time to be happy, yiqian. Because 2013 is almost half-gone and if you're going to let negative emotions take over you then it's going to be a waste. Time waits for no man so buck up now and l i v e, for once, for yourself, for your family and for your friends.

O p t i m i s m