Nervous

I don't know why I'm feeling extremely nervous and stressed up for my FBM presentation tomorrow. usually I'm really zen and relaxed up till the point of presentation or sometimes I am just totally not nervous AT ALL. I think it's because the teacher is a lot more strict and has really high expectations and I'm just damn worried for my grades and all.

I've just finished memorising my script and I really hope everything will turn out to be fine tomorrow, PLEASE. fingers crossed!!!

by the way, FBM is food and beverage management... BLUEK

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all day. everyday.

tumblr has this magical ability to read my mind and speak my thoughts for me.

thankful for tumblr.

Phase

now. everyday. I just wake up and go to school and come home and sleep. I try to get myself past each lingering day in hope that everything would just miraculously become better soon. I tell myself being upset is only temporary but it seems like forever. it seems like happiness is never coming back again. I force myself to be happy. but why is it so hard?

I try to talk to people who wanna talk to me, only to find myself drifting out of every conversation. I find my mind wandering off to saddening thoughts. I tell myself to stop wallowing in self pity but I just can't help it. I focus so much on the bad things that are happening I feel like nothing good ever happens to me anymore.

I don't know how and why and when all these started to happen. how did I become so locked out from the world? why did I become so upset every single day? when did I no longer find myself laughing or smiling for the true purposes in life.

I tell myself this is just a phase. and everything would be over soon, if not someday in the future. I'm really hoping this day is gonna arrive soon. because I am afraid I cannot take this any longer. because nowadays I don't have motivation to do anything. nothing has the ability to interest me anymore.

everyday, I just wanna lay in bed.

someday, I hope I find my happiness again.